NARUTO THE MUSICAL!
by NarutoTheMusical
Summary: A bizarre telling of the Wizard of Oz with a hint of... a lot of other stuff. You have been warned... MAJOR CRACK! Rated T, despite what we said. You'll see.
1. Elphie starts things off

Once upon a time...

There was a town, well, it was actually a village called Konoha. Everything in Konoha was sweet and awesome and totally peaceful. Except for the fact that, you know, ninjas were running around everywhere and there were constant threats of war. There was also this emo dude that was going to destroy the village. You may know him as Sasuke, but I prefer to call him that emo dude. Okay? Okay. The emo dude had a team of... well, let's start from the very beginning.

Once upon a time...

There was a village called Konoha. In this village there were three teenager sitting in a tree. One of them had a pair of binoculars staring at girls who walked by; another was punching the one with binoculars for staring, and the other one just kind of sat there staring out in the distance. The scene went as so:

"JIRAIYA YOU PUT THOSE BINOCULARS UP THIS INSTANT OR I WILL KILL YOU!"

"OW! OKAY TSUNADE GEEZ!"

"Something is coming..."

"What?" The two looked to the sitting-staring-in-the-distance-friend.

"Something... terrible... is going to..."

"Orichimy, what is it?" Tsunade batted her eyes at the pale boy.

"I have to go..."

With that Orichimaru was gone, leaving his teammates befuddled.

Of course, it only took Jiraiya five seconds before ducking behind his binoculars again. Tsunade returned to her position as puncher.

Little did they know they'd never see him again until...

This brings us to current day. A dude that loves dogs with all his might was skipping down the streets - manly skipping! - with his dog and friends Shino and Hinata. His name is Kiba. He loves dogs. A lot. Too much... you get it? Shina suddenly whispers, "A tornado is coming..." With that a few bugs come along and fly him away.

Kiba pays him no mind and turns to Hinata. "Uh, you want to go to the park with me, or something?"

"B-but Kiba-kun," Hinata replied, "Shino-kun said a tornado was coming. Shouldn't we listen to him?"

"Shino's crazy. He's got bugs for brains."

"Yes, but what if those bugs are smart?" Hinata replied. Kiba blinked twice, deep in thought before...

"LET'S GO!" With that, Akamaru and Kiba raced away.

"Wait! Kiba-kun!" Hinata ran after them.

It was pretty peaceful for a while, but peace is boring.

Then...

The wind started to switch

The dog got pitched

And the boy with a furry coat threw a fit

Which caused a girl like this

To throw him in a ditch.

Repeat that a few times.

Hinata and Kiba and Akamaru got pulled up into the cyclone and swirled.

Kiba caught Akamaru but managed to lose Hinata, but we'll catch up on our good ninja later.

The dog boy landed on this crazy thing that felt like a lady's gut. He looked down to find it was a lady's gut. "Gross..." he mumbled. "Pee on her Akamaru before she wakes up!" Kiba hissed to his dog before looking around. "Hmmmm... I'll just move this house over her before anyone notices." Kiba dragged the house over the lady before...

POP!

A bubble popped right in his face. "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" Declared a rather pink lady.

"Uh, I'm a dude?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't tell," giggled the woman. "You killed her?"

"No it was that... person in the house! Yeah, that's it. See you later!" He ran off just as a girl in a blue dress walked out of the house.

"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" Asked the woman.

Kiba saw a lot of things on his road. One of those things included a scarecrow...

* * *

_Well, Kona-chan, I hope you are prepared! You have to do the meeting, and if you'd like Hinata the GN (text me if you don't remember) REVIEW PEOPLE!_


	2. Kiba meets a creeper

Heyyy, it's Kona-chan! I have NO IDEA if I can compare to Elphie's chapter, but I'll try!

* * *

Once upon the same exact time….

Kiba, the before mentioned dog dude who just loves dogs WAY too much, was merrily following the red brick road, when he had a rendezvous with destiny.

Sorry about that. I just wanted to sound cool.

What actually happened was that he saw a scarecrow. And it was singing. And walking.

No, really.

"What…the…" Kiba sputtered, like the intellect he was.

The scarecrow slowly turned his head toward the flabbergasted puppy-lover (DAWWWWWW) and, at the same time, a smile slowly formed across his face, making him look somewhat like a, well….

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! CREEPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kiba screamed as he attempted an escape.

"SHADOW POSSESION JUTSU!!!!!" yelled the scarecrow, making Kiba freeze in his tracks.

"WHHAAAAAA?!?!?! HE DOES JUTSU TOO?!?!?!"

"Jutsu? What is that?"

"Um, what you just did."

"Oh. I actually just yelled the first thing that came into my head."

"WHAAAAA!!!"

Kiba moved his arm around, discovering that he wasn't under a jutsu.

"Who are you anyway, scary scarecrow dude?"

"I scare you?!?!"

"Uh, yeah, kind of."

"HA! TAKE THAT, YOU STUPID CROWS!!!!!"

"CAN YOU JUST TELL ME WHO YOU ARE?!?!"

The creeper scarecrow's eyes glazed over.

"Um, hello?" said Kiba, slightly annoyed.

"Kiba…." he replied.

"Wait, how did you know my name?"

"Kiba…"

"What?"

"I….AM YOUR FATHER!"

"WHA?!?!?!?!?!?"

"GOTCHA!!!!!!"

"Um, OK…."

"I'm really named Fiyero. I was once awesome sauce, then my SEEKURRETT LUUUUHHHHVARRRRR turned me into a scarecrow to save my…"

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"

"By the way, did you know that you were in Oz?"

"Oz?"

"You didn't know? You were following the red brick road."

"The red one begins, or perhaps ends, at my village, Konoha."

"Oh, so that's where it leads…"

"Anyway, can you answer my question?"

Just then, the before mentioned merry murderess in a blue-checkered dress skipped…ahem…merrily along a yellow brick road that appeared from, like, no where…

"QUICK KIBA!!!! RUN AWAY!!!! IT'S HER!!!"

Kiba quickly obliged, not realizing the barking animal he was leaving behind.

* * *

Whooo! So what do you think? Review! Have a great day!


	3. Hinata doesn't like really big hugs

Elphie with another chapter! Kona-chan really rocked, didn't she! I feel a bit hurt for being called a creeper, but that makes up for what I said about Kiba, right?

---

Kiba sat up in the bushes with the scarecrow now recognized as Fiyero and screamed.

"HOLY FREAKIN SANTA YOU'RE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE!!!"

"What the heck are you talking about?" Fiyero looked around hysterically.

"You just went with that girl!"

"Oh? That was just a decoy," Fiyero shrugged. "SO! What do you want to do?"

"I WANNA GO HOME!"

"Whiny much?"

"SORRY! I was TRYING to do that in the first place until YOU showed up!" Kiba explained the actually obvious predicament if you were paying attention.

VERY CLOSE ATTENTION

But you probably weren't.

Whatever.

Fiyero sighed. "Fine, let's go to your stupid village."

You might be wondering what the heck happened to Hinata.

That's a good question. A question that one person may find unexplainable.

Fortunately, I am not that one person.

As Hinata flew and flew and flew through the cyclone she used this weird levitation jutsu she completely made up on the spot. After hovering for a while, she ran into a woman in a bubble. The levitating ceased, and the bubble popped.

SLAM

They two fell to the ground.

"Who are you?" Hinata asked shyly.

"I am Glinda; the Witch of the North. And you are?"

"Hyuuga Hinata, uh... Ninja of the... Eight team?"

Glinda gave her a friendly smile. "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

Where had we heard this before?

"I'm not a witch at all; I'm a ninja. I'm from Konoha."

Glinda groaned, "First a Kansas star, now a Konoha star! Well," Glinda's voice began to tremble at this point, "you've managed to land unnecessarily on the Wicked Witch of the West."

"What?" Hinata looked terrified. "I didn't mean to kill her; really I-"

"Hail Hinata! The Wicked Witch of the West is dead!"

So Hinata and Glinda got to talking at that point because Glinda burst into tears and Hinata felt heartless thinking of many ways to escape the embrace she was currently mauled with as the blonde woman wept a great load of tears.

Hinata really wanted to leave...


	4. Ron lieks mudkips

Heyloha, it's Kona-chan, once again! Trust me Elphie, you rock MUCH more than I do! Let our awesomeness ensue!

.

.

.

Which reminds me. We've never done a proper disclaimer.

Dislcaimer of DOOM- Elphie and Kona-chan are too messed up in the head to own anything mentioned here.

Here it goes!

-------

Hinata didn't like the huge hug this blonde bimbo was giving her. Doesn't she know that she's claustrophobic?

Out of nowhere, Spongebob appeared and said, "GASP! YOU'RE AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUSE?!?!?1/1/"

"Oh, go away!" Glinda snapped, still holding on to Hinata as if her life depended on it. "That joke is SOOOO overused!"

"OK!" chimed Spongebob, poofing away into one of those Pokemon ball things that Kona-chan doesn't know the name of because she is a Yu-Gi-Oh freak. OK, then, for Kona-chan's sake, let's change that from a Pokemon ball thing to a Yu-Gi-Oh card.

Let's start over.

"OK!" chimed Spongebob, poofing way into a Yu-Gi-Oh card.

M'k? M'k.

After that pointless self-argument, Hinata decided to just do that impromptu levitation jutsu she used last chapter.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

And Hinata immediately hovered many feet in the air, finally escaping the Good Witch's death-grasp.

Meanwhile, in Hogwarts...Professor Flitwick started to feel somewhat threatened.

"Hmm, weird…" he thought.

Meanwhile, in another place in Hogwarts…

"Ron?"

"Yeah, Hermione?"

"So eye herd u liek mudkips."

Let's get back to our favorite female Hyuuga, shall we?

So, yeah, Hinata was just floating there…yeah…

"What are you doing? Get down from there!"

"Um, OK," Hinata responded as she dropped the jutsu.

Oh, yeah, she dropped, all right.

Right on top of Glinda.

Did you know that if a person falls on you from twenty feet in the air, you tend to die? I know, crazy, right?

"Oh my gosh! Are you OK?"

No answer.

Hinata looked at the nearby Munchkins nervously. (When did THEY show up?)

"Hail to the ninja chick! The Good Witch is dead!" they proclaimed excitedly.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the screen, Kona-chan was bawling her eyes out, pizza in hand.

"Did I really just do that in a story intended for COMEDY? My career as an orthopedic surgeon is over!" she cried as she munched on her pizza.

Anyway….

"What? Why are you celebrating?" Hinata exclaimed, flabbergasted.

The Munchkins looked at each other and shrugged.

"We tend to do that."

"Ah."

"Well…since the Good Witch is dead, I suppose you should become the new Good Witch of the North," the Munchkins informed.

Hinata sighed. "I suppose I must."

-------

After arriving at Kiba's "stupid village", Shino immediately walked up to Kiba and Mr. Creeperscarecrowelphie.

"Where's Hinata?" Shino asked with a hint of concern in his usually dull voice.

It then occurred to KIba that Hinata wasn't with him the entire time he was in Oz.

…Baka.

"Oh my gosh! Where is she? Akamaru, do you know?"

No answer.

"Akamaru?"

No answer.

"AKAMARUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!"

"You left him with my decoy," informed Fiyero.

"I WHAT?!? OH, AKAMARU, WHEREEVER YOU ARE, I'M SO SORRY!!!!" Kiba proclaimed, as well as some other stuff that are too cheesy for Kona-chan to write.

Wow…

"OHMYGOSH, HINATA IS LOST, TOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! GASP!!! WHAT IF I NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!!!! NO!!!!!"

Yes, as you can probably tell by now, dearest reader, there is going to be KibaHina in this story. Sorry if I ruined your day. I try to keep it as subtle as I can… NOT! MWAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

Just then, a random sofa exploded, no, IMPLODED!

Erm. Anyway.

"Calm down, Kiba. She can take care of herself," Shino said, exasperated.

"Just then, a beautiful pink bubble appeared in front of the ninjas and scarecrow.

"_Where have I seen that that before?"_ thought Kiba, officially weirded out.

The bubble faded away to reveal Hinata, wearing a huge crown and pink dress.

Out of impulse, Kiba catechized, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

"…Good."

"'Kay."

Silence.

"Hinata…" Shino finally said, "Why, may I ask, are you a good witch?"

"Because I don't like bad witches."

"Oh. That makes sense.

In another world…

"Gasp!" gasped Elphie, as she stared at the part of the atrocious chapter she just read. "How could Hinata NOT like bad witches?! Furthermore, Kona-chan has pizza…AND I DON'T?!?!"

Elphie had it. She teleported to Kona-chan's house, outraged.

"KONA-CHAAAAAAN!"

"Hey, Elphie! You don't look so good. Are joo OK?" Kona-chan said, worried, once again saying "joo" instead of "you".

"NO! I NEED PIZZA!!!!" she yelled, staring at the huge slice in Kona-chan's hands.

"Gasp! Not mine!"

"YES, YOURS! GIVE ME THAT!!!!"

Elphie was preparing for a full-out battle-war struggle-to-live brawl, until Kona-chan said…

"JUST GET ONE FROM THE BOX!"

Heavenly music played as a Domino's pizza box came into her range of sight. She took a slice out of the box, and was about to eat it, when suddenly-

"BLEEEEEEECHHHH!!!!! Chomp."

Elpie's cat, Princeton, magically appeared, vomited all over the pizza in the pizza box, took one look at the slice in Elphie's hand, and ate it, leaving Elphie with no pizza.

Needless to say, poor widdle Elpie was flabbergasted. She looked over at Kona-chan helplessly.

"Hey, don't look at me. I start fasting in the morning," she responded as she heartlessly ate the rest of her pizza.

So, pizzaless and heavy-hearted, Elphie had no other choice but to teleport back to her house, sad as a stormy sky.

"Sorry about that, dear reader," said Kona-chan, settling back down on her laptop. "Shall we get back to our story?"

"_RING, RING!!!"_

The scarecrow we know as Fiyero took out a pink cell phone and started talking into it.

"Mmmm…mm-hmm…oh, yeah…How can you not like dogs? You're an Animal rights activist!....Oh, you like Dogs, not dogs…OK, I'll do that ASAP…bye…no…NO! GOODBYE!" Fiyero huffily snapped his girly cell phone closed.

"Huff, Elphaba, my SEEKURETTE LUUUUUUVAR I told you about earlier, found my decoy and your dog and said that she'll take care of your dog until we're back in Oz. We better get going, otherwise, your dog might not live for very long…"

"EEK! AKAMARU, I'M ON MY WAY!"

"SHINO! LADY TSUNADE HAS A…"

Kurenai walked over to our troop, took one look at Hinata in a pink dress and a large crown, a sobbing, Akamaruless Kiba, and the walking, talking scarecrow, took out a gun, and shot herself in the head.

Can't say I saw that one coming.

---------

Elphie, it's your turn now! As for everybody else, review, and have a great day!


	5. InuYasha and Kiba love dogs :

Well... I updatez now!

DOD: Yo, we don't freakin' own the freakin' Wizard of Oz or freakin' Naruto or freakin' Wicked or freakin' anything except Princeton in the aforementioned chapter that made my day.

OKAY!

---

SUDDENLY

After a prearranged funeral of munchkins singing about poor Kurenai's death

HINATA DISAPPEARED INTO THE ABYSS!

Because this author thinks there should be something going on with Hinata outside of Kiba and Fiyero.

Kinda like Spencer outside of Carly, Sam, and Freddie in iCarly.

M'k? IF NOT WELL DEAL WITH IT!

Kiba,

Since it was established that this is KibaHina,

let out a loud noise.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

And somewhere, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away,

PRINCESS LEIA AND HAN SOLO perked up their ears at the noise.

"Well, Chewie's up," Han shrugged.

ANYWAY

Fiyero was looking at Kiba as if he were a child.

"I don't think I got enough lines in that previous chapter."

Kona-chan suddenly sticks her head through the screen like Fat Albert did in that movie.

"HEY, I DON'T LIKE JOO! I SPENT A LOTTA TIME ON DAT!"

"WELL _JOO _ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO MAKE ME SOME GAY PANSY WITH A PINK PHONE THAT ENDS UP WITH THIS DOG BOY HERE!"

Fiyero pointed to Kiba, who blinked innocently. Kona-chan was appalled.

Suddenly, Elphie poofs in and slaps Fiyero in his gay pansy face.

"DON'T SPOIL THE STORY, BAKA!"

The scarecrow straightened up.

"ELPHABA! I didn't know you spoke Japanese!"

Elphie rolled her eyes since Wicked fanfiction authors made that the typical thing for her to do.

"I don't _speak _Japanese! I just watch a loooooooooooooooooot of anime!"

"Why?" Shino said with an arched eyebrow which we couldn't see because of his hood and sunglasses.

"WHEN YOU'RE IN HIDING FOR FIFTY YEARS YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!"

Kiba started thinking. Kinda worries ya, right?

Think... think... THINK! BRAIN BLAST! Actually it was more of a BRAIN FART.

And a physical fart, cuz people are saying turd on tv a lot.

"WHERE'S AKAMARU?!?!"

Elphie looked at the boy and noted, "You really like dogs."

Random.

"OH YEAH! I HAVE TO GO TAKE CARE OF HIM!"

Suddenly Elphaba disappeared leaving the dumbstruck boys behind.

At this point she was at Kona-chan's house for one more thing.

"JOO HAS TO CLEAN UP DEE VOMIT!"

Kona-chan growled as Elphie cackled off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kona-chan said.

And somewhere in Palmwoods cuz Elphie just watched Big Time Rush:

The camera zoomed in on Rocque to make it clear that he was thinking. Suddenly he shouted (by that I mean he spoke at his normal rate)

"SOMEONE IS LOUDER THAN ME!"

Oh yeah, there's a story here somewhere...

Kiba was bawling his eyes out.

"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?"

Fiyero rolled his eyes because, of course, he knew what was right and wrong.

"WE'RE GOING TO DANCE!"

Kiba and Fiyero then broke out into an awesome techno dance song by Cascada.

"Now what?"

Kiba asked afterward.

"We have to... slay the little girl from Kansas."

Somehow Kiba understood this.

"SHE HAS AKAMARU!"

Shino was standing there watching this entire weird scenario.

THEN DORA THE EXPLORER CAME IN AND ASKED:

"Do you know where the sleeping forest is?"

Shino, having nothing better to do, KILLED THE LITTLE GIRL!

Then he eloped with her monkey friend... turns out he was a she.

THEN INUYASHA RACED UP TO THE SCARECROW AND SHINOBI!

"I HEARD WE WERE KILLING A DOGNAPPER!"

InuYasha loves dogs too... a lot...

"What's the deal with you anime characters and DOGS?"

KIBA AND INUYASHA LOOKED AT FIYERO AND SCOFFED!

"HOW DO YOU _NOT _LIKE DOG!"

They said in unison.

To that, Fiyero responded.

"CUZ THEY EAT UP MY STRAW!"

Oh yeah, he was a scarecrow...

Well, that's basically all the crack.

This authoress has to go... watch television and not think of crack!


	6. Hidden Elevator

Wow...go Elphie. MY TURN NOW! And, also...after Elphie's chapter, this story will potentially be on hiatus. Go see my profile for details.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yes, dear reader, Kona-chan was still yelling about the vomit, because, well, wouldn't you? I mean, it's vomit, and...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Wait a minute....Kiba and Fiyero end up with each other in the end? I thought this was a friendship fic!"

Elphie stuck her head around the corner and said...

Well, the story is more important than her reply.

After Hinata disappeared, she found herself at a strange-looking school.

"What am I doing here?" she thought. "Where did Kiba and that pansy scarecrow go? Wait a minute...why did my outfit change?"

Hinata looked down at her clothes and analyzed. Good thing, too, because Kona-chan was tired of thinking up questions for Hinata to ask herself. She was wearing a pink tank-top with a black vest over it, as well as a pink skirt, pink boots with black knee socks, and a white hat with a pink symbol on it atop her head. Plus, her hair was done differently; the front tresses of her hair had been pulled back into a half-ponytail. In fact, she looked a lot like...

"Holy crap, Kona-chan! You made her look like Dawn!" Elphie jumped out of a bush and exclaimed.

"I did, didn't I?" Kona-chan replied smugly, following Elphie from behind the small bush. "And I'm planning to have Kiba magically change into Ash's clothing. It'll be a Pearlshipping extravanganza!"

Elphie gasped. "Not if I make it an Ikarishipping extravaganza first! Kiba will be in Paul's clothing!"

"Oh. No. You. Didn't." Kona-chan fumed while doing the ghetto-snap.

"Oh. Yes. I. Did." Elphie ghetto-snapped right back.

"GUYS!" Hinata interrupted. "Pearlshipping? Ikarishipping? Are saying that you're pairing me with Kiba?" Hinata blushed ferociously.

"Oh...um...NO! Of course not!" Elphie sputtered. "Are we Kona-chan?...Kona-chan?"

But Kona-chan was too busy having a Kiba sock puppet and a Hinata sock puppet make-out to listen. Hinata blushed again, even more so than before.

"KONA-CHAN!" Elphie screeched. Did you know that "screeched" is the longest one-syllable word in the English language? I know, crazy crap, right?

"VHAT?!?"

"She can see your puppets..."

"Oh...well, Hinata...how about you just walk ahead so we can continue with the story. M'k?"

"...M'k..." Hinata answered relunctantly as she inched toward the school. She looked to her right and saw a big sign.

"Hmmm, this school is called Shiz...I should probably sign up to be a student, since I'm already here...and stuff..."

A few yards back...

"Don't you think we should have asked her consent before we established the KibaHina in this story?" Elphie questioned uneasily.

"Don't worry, she may be embarrassed now, but when it happens, she'll come around." Kona-chan answered as she crawled back behind the bush.

Elphie smiled as she followed her brown-haired friend (or is it blue?). "Of course she will; what was I thinking? Maybe we should make it extra-special, just for her sake."

Kona-chan pushed a small, hidden button, and immediately after, the ground behind the bush opened to reveal a large elevator. "A lemon, maybe?"

"Ohhh, but we would have to bump up the rating of the story, and...yeah." The two girls jumped into the elevator.

"That's true. But, still, we should make it STEE-MEE!" The verbal pervert known as Elphie and the mental pervert known as Kona-chan wolf-whistled as the grassy top of the elevator closed.

On the red-brick road...

"So...is this guy staying with us?" Fiyero asked Kiba as he looked at the white-maned hanyou walking beside them.

"Yes," InuYasha answered the question for Kiba. "I have to find my SEEKURETT-"

"DON'T. YOU. DARE. FINISH. THAT." Kiba threatened.

"Fine. Well, you see, my SEE- erm, girlfriend Kagome and I were just walking and stuff, and suddenly, she became crippled, and....disappeared. Some really short people then approached me and said that the Wicked Witch of the East or wh'ever died, so they had to use the first girl they saw as a replacment," Inuyasha said. "Except, of course, the bimbette who actually killed her, because the poor, helpless thing had to get back to Kansas, whatever that place is," InuYasha mumbled.

"Oh, well, maybe she'll be in Oz!" Kiba encouraged.

"That's what I'm hoping. So, why are you on the road?"

"Well, first, I'm retreiving my dog, Akamaru, from evil hands, I MEAN, Fiyero's girlfriend, and then, we're rescuing Hinata."

"Who's Hinata?" the dog demon asked.

"The girl that Kiba thinks about while masturbating," Fiyero answered bluntly.

"FIYERO!!!"

"WELL, YOU DO!...Don't you?"

"Well..."

"HA!"

In the elevator...

"Kona-chan?"

"Yeah, Elphie?"

"We might have to bump up the rating now."

"Sigh...yeah."

"Are you going to?"

"Nope."

"Thought so."

In the sleeping forest...

"BOOTS!!! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH THAT...THAT...MAP!!!"

"Shino, this isn't what it looks like!"

"I'M FILING FOR A DIVORCE, YOU NO-GOOD CHEATER!!!" Shino ran away, sobbing his eyes out.

Boots quickly followed, crying as well and yelling Shino's name repeatedly.

Map looked at where his SEEK-AH, I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY IT!!! used to be.

"Boots....I thought what we had was SPECIAL!!!!"

That...was too much like a soap opera.


	7. Ikarishipping or Pearlshipping

ELPHIE SHALL NOW FIGHT BACK!

"Hey, Kona-chan, guess what."

"What, Elphie?"

"I'm not going to make it Ikarishipping."

"REAAALLLY?"

"Really... INSTEAD! I'M GONNA MAKE IT ADVANCESHIPPING! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

As for that, that's later. The dog boys were rocking down the red brick road as Fiyero watched awkwardly.

"Erm... what are you guys doing?"

Kiba looked up at Fiyero who we have established is going to be his future LUVVVVVER when Hinata dies in some odd way...

As does Elphaba... maybe...

EH!

"HEY!" Kona-chan appeared outta nowhere. "I THOUGHT THIS WAS KIBAHINA FIYERABA!"

"Well!" Elphie fumbled, "_SOMEONE _PUT ME UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE KIBAYERO CUZ THAT WAS ONLY YAOI PAIRING YOU LIKE!"

"No way..." Kona-chan said nervously KNOWING IT WAS TRUE.

"WOULD YOU RATHER ME REVEAL YOUR LEMON SECRET?"

"No... It's cool..."

"Good."

NOW!

Now that Hinata has magically turned into someone that looks like Dawn Elphie will now...

"HEY!" A hyper-active boy that was NOT Naruto said, "I'm Ash Ketchum, and I love Haruka AKA May in the United States!"

In an elevator, looking over Elphie's screen, a blue/brown-haired otaku name Kona-chan growled.

"And!" Said a girl that looked like what Hinata said, "I'm Dawn, and I love Shinji AKA Paul in the United States!"

Okay... Elphie lied...

"HEY THAT'S A SIN!" Kona-chan screamed.

"IT'S A SIN TO BE A PEARLSHIPPER!"

"WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT?"

"ON BULBAPEDIA!"

"WHAT?"

"THE POKEMON WIKI!"

"WHERE?"

"ERM..."

"LIAR!"

Back to our story...

"EEP A CATERPIE!"

Okay... now back

Hinata, suddenly gleeful and happy said, "I'm Hinata, and I love... SASUKE AKA Sasuke in the United States!"

The two authoresses poofed out of their elevator and slapped Hinata.

"NO! You love Kiba!!!!"

"But..." Hinata mumbled nervously, "You said he'd end up with Fiyero."

Somewhere in Naruto Abridged 13...

"KIBAYERO FOREVER!" - Hinata

Back again...

"YEAH! But you still love him! Sasuke doesn't love ANYBODY!" This was Elphie.

"No! Sasuke loves Karin!" This was Kona-chan

"Well, Karin loves Suigetsu!"

"SuiKa fans are SasuSaku fans!"

"NOT ME!"

"SHUT UP!"

"NO YOU SHUT UP!"

"GUYS!" - this was Kagome who had apparently been landed on right on top of the well and came here. Hmmm...

Elphie, seeing Kagome in a wheelchair said, "NESSA ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Erm..." Kagome said nervously.

BACK TO THE YAOI

Kiba and InuYasha were singing Elvis songs - particularly "YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG! CRYIN ALL THE TIME!"

Fiyero sighed, wishing he had a college degree... well, he had a major in English.

But what do you do with a BA in English?

"Erm... do you guys like Ozway?"

"What?" The boys took out their headphones.

"Never mind..." Fiyero sighed, "Do you guys like Bakugan."

Kiba widened his eyes, "Is that a challenge?"

"What?" InuYasha said, a little jealous of losing his new friend.

"BAKUGAN BRAWL!" Fiyero and Kiba screamed in unison.

Suddenly they disappeared to the dark realm.

InuYasha screamed suddenly "KAGOME!"

Then Kohaku appears and said, "Hi I'm Sango's little brother that's really nice but is actually under a curse that Naraku put on me and when I break free of it I'm going to marry Rin even if Sesshomaru or Shippo tries to stop me."

InuYasha sweat drops, "What?"

Somewhere in Shiz with Pokemon freaks and Hinata, Kagome screams "INUYASHA OWASARI AKA SIT IN THE ENGLISH DUB!"

InuYasha slammed into the ground, "Why me..."

NOW ELPHIE IS THROUGH WITH CRACK AND KONA-CHAN JUST GOT BARFED ON BY A BABY! MUAHAHAHAHA


	8. Identity Crisis

My turn again! As in, Kona-chan! Yayyyyyyy

---

"Ash, are you sure that this is a good idea?"

"Well, I don't know, but try anyway."

"…OK…"

Dawn reluctantly edged into the front doors of the business building at Shiz, wanting to apply for school there. As soon as she walked in, a taller girl turned around.

Wearing the exact same clothes as she.

They gaped at each other for about three seconds before Dawn walked out of the building. Ash was walking away from the building when she did.

"Ash," she called.

"Yes?"

"Take me home."

Back inside the business building, Hinata shook herself out her shock as she continued filling out an application that somehow talked.

"Name."

"Hyuuga Hinata."

"Age."

"17."

"DOB."

"December 27, 1992."

"Gender."

"Female."

"Eye color."

"Uh, gray? Lilac? Something."

"Hair Color."

"Black."

"Your mom."

"Dead."

"Favorite Pokemon."

"Butterfree."

"Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

"Team Emily."

"YOU JUST LOST THE GAME."

"What game?"

A few feet away, a red echidna named Knuckles was talking to an application as well.

"Race."

"I….don't know! I sound American…but I look Jamaican; however, echidnas are Australian, but…apparently I'm Mayan." **(A/N: This joke belongs to Gen8Hedgehog on DeviantArt. I couldn't resist using it.)**

"So you don't know?"

"…No."

"Alright then."

Back to Hinata.

As she turned in her application, a lady at the front desk smiled and looked it over.

"You start here in ten minutes!"

"Wait, already?!?!"

"Yes! Your first class is halfway across the campus, so hurry along now!"

Hinata jumped onto the back of Sonic the Hedgehog, who promptly ran to her first class.

---

"We're here!"

"So, this is your GF's house."

"Well, technically, she's my SL, but yeah."

Kiba looked at the cottage that lay before him. "It's…cozy."

"Yeah."

"…"

"I SMELL A DOG!" InuYasha yelled as he kicked down the cottage's door. "LET ME IN, WOMAN!"

_Ka-dong._

Elphaba knocked a pan against InuYasha's head, instantly knocking him out. Fiyero stepped over him and hugged Elphaba.

"Where's my dog, foo?" spat Kiba.

Elphaba gave him the evil eye, and handed him a dog…but what's this?!

"WHY IS HE WEARING A PINK BOW AND A NAME TAG ON A PINK COLOR THAT SAYS 'TOTO'?" he screamed.

"BECAUSE…He looks adorable."

Just then, the merry murdering farmgirl burst into the cottage, eyes bloodshot, hands bloodied, and braids looking as if she had stuck her finger in a twelve-foot-tall purple-polka dotted light socket. She hissed and grabbed Akatoto from Kiba's hands before you could say "HOLY MOTHER OF COW!" She then jumped out a window, cackling maniacally. Why she just didn't use the front door was a wonder to the others, who gaped at the broken window. Well, back to square one.

---

As the authoresses' elevator finally reached the bottom floor, Kona-chan looked at Elphie and said, "I believe I just ruined my own childhood."

Elphie solemnly nodded before they stepped out of the elevator into the underground metropolis known as "The Fanfiction Writer's Living Quarters". Otherwise known as "Paradise".

-----

Elphie, I pass this story onto you!


	9. The long awaited return!

So I'm back... I'm meaning Elphie... however, Elphie has a new account, and suggests that you check it out: CheatingAtMonkeyBall. Thanks. Kk. Bye.

Disclaimer: BREAKING NEWS: Elphie and Kona-chan recently earned the licenses and rights to Naruto, Wicked, the Wizard of Oz, AND InuYasha within the time frame of Kona-chan's last update until today. See the secret is to write a very very very convincing letter to the companies and end it with a backwards winking smiley face (;

So Hinata was sitting impatiently in her History/Life Science classroom. She happened to sit next to Kagome and Ash and Dawn. For Kona-chan's sake, Ash and Dawn were sitting next to each other. Kona-chan squealed from her beach chair in the paradise as an angelic choir sang in the background. "OH TANK JOO ELPHIE! DUZ DAT MEAN JOO ISH A PEARLSHIPPER?"

Elphie replied bluntly: "No, but I just wanted to give you something. I mean, you already have my RENT CD, movie, Kristin Chenoweth book, and probably cloned my plushies whilst I was asleep at Emily's house."

"... I do not have your K Cheno book..." Kona-chan replied embarrassed, refusing to deny anything else...

Hinata tapped her pencil to the beat of some underground tune like the one in the Hairspray movie. That's pretty much all I can say about Hinata. We writers set her up for some boring storyline by sending her to SCHOOL. I mean, really, a school? Sigh, let's go to the boys.

Well, Elphaba had run after the merry murderess with a broomstick and big book with purple pages, so the guys were just kinda chilling watching TV. Kiba was still crying over Akamaru whilst InuYasha and Fiyero fought over what to watch - InuYasha wanted to watch AnimalPlanet whilst Fiyero wanted to watch HighSchoolMusical. Eventually InuYasha won, making this authoress very happy.

"Ya know," Elphie said, floating in a basking blue pool that connected to a waterfall on a red floaty, "after writing that, I can kinda see the potential between Fiyero and InuYasha."

Kona-chan raised her sunglasses in slow motion before saying steadily, "No."

"But," Elphie defended, "since we have started this story making Kiba and Fiyero ourselves, it's technically not yaoi."

Kona-chan blinked twice before vomiting into a conveniently nearby bucket. Why was that bucket there? Because this is fanfiction paradise, and sometimes fanfiction writers come up with ideas that make them sick. "So the idea of Kibayero would be yuri - but not only that, between 

__

_us_?"

Elphie fell off her float upon that realization. The two girls started crying. Then the fanfiction bot came upon them, "Trouble in paradise?"

"SHUT UP FANFICTION BOT AND GO PUT THE CHARACTERS UP IN THE NANAKA 6/17 SECTION!" Elphie screeched through tears. "I don't love ya like that Kona-chan!"

"ME EITHER! IN FACT EVEN IF I DID SWING THAT WAY I'M WAY TOO GOOD FOR YOU!"

"Then why are you my friend?"

"Because this gives you someone to worship."

"Oh," Elphie responded before hopping out of the pool and fanning Kona-chan with a palm leaf like any loyal slave would.

Fiyero mumbled to himself about how he'll never be able to get his head in the game watching 100 Types of Cats, but it was still kind of amusing to see InuYasha barking at the screen. Suddenly InuYasha's hair turned dark and his tiny cat ears disappeared. Weird that he has cat ears when he's a hanyou? Yes. He stopped barking.

Kiba decided to perk his ears up at this and blinked, "Dude..."

"Oh yeah, I randomly turn human for a day cuz my mom was a human, and my dad had to be a douche and knock her up when my brother is full-fledged demon. Doesn't that suck?"

"Yeah, I would hate to not have my full potential," Fiyero said, forgetting momentarily that he was no longer in the Gale Force holding a musket but instead made of straw and falling apart piece by piece. Upon this re-entering his mind he sobbed. His sobbing made Kiba remember he didn't have Akamaru. The mention of Akamaru even in the context of third person made InuYasha realize that he was a puny weak human again, therefore he started sobbing. Suddenly Kikyo, Glinda, and Ino popped into the room. The boys continued sobbing.

"Whoa you brought their exes back... and Ino... why Ino?" Kona-chan marveled.

"Cuz she's the second most popular to put with Kiba. And she has the perfect personality for what's about to happen." Elphie replied, tapping at her keyboard swiftly.

"M'k."

Glinda, Kikyo, and Ino biotch-slapped the proper boy from their fandom and shouted, "I did not go out with you because you were a baby. Man up and get to Shiz where your SEKKUHRETTE LUVAAHHHR is!"

"How did you say that in unison?" The boys marveled at the same time.

"THAT DOESN'T MATTER!" The girls stamped their feet. "GO TO SHIZ AND FILL OUT AN APPLICATION!"

"Okay!" Fiyero and Kiba shouted and saluted.

"Just one thing..." InuYasha bit his lip, afraid Kikyo would kill him any second now. "I have to go to the little half demon's room."

It then dawned upon all of them that this entire story consisted of them teleporting to places, but they never used the bathroom once... ever. Quickly they noticed their knees tight together with a pain in their groin from holding it in. Everyone that was ever mentioned in this story ran to the nearest bathroom. Catchy piano music played, and the tune was strangely familiar. Suddenly two ABBA imposters that happened to look very similar to Elphie and Kona-chan appeared and sang:

DIARRHEA!  
GOTTA GO AGAIN!  
MY MY - YOU ALSO GOTTA PISS-A  
DIARRHEA!  
FEEL IT FLOW AGAIN!  
MY MY - GET SOME TOILET PAPER!  
YESSSSSSSS WE KNOW THAT YOU FARTED  
STILL SMELL IT THOUGH WE PARTED.  
WHY WHY  
DID WE NOT WRITE THAT YOU GO!  
DIARRHEA!  
NOW THE AUTHORS KNOW  
WE WE - WE SHOULD REALLY LET YOU GO!

Then all the characters flushed the toilets simultaneously and returned to their previous positions.

Hinata had stopped tapping her pencil because the bell would ring in five seconds, and she was packing up. Suddenly Ash walked up to her with a smirk. "You wanna go out?"

Kona-chan smiled radiantly at Elphie, "It's TECHNICAL Pearlshipping!"

"Ewwwwwww that's as obsessive as Seddiers!" Elphie cringed, disgusticified.

"Ya know, I'm totally over Pokemon anyway, so whatever." Kona-chan shrugged and put in her headphones, unknowing that Elphie could hear her listening to the Team Rocket's "Double Trouble" song.

"HEY!" InuYasha reveled, "THEY SAID OUR SL's WERE AT SHIZ! LET'S GOOOOOOO!"

End. Haha I had lots of fun writing that song spoof. Come on Kona-chan! I pass it back to you!


End file.
